I WISH I WAS... tallerthinnerpalercuter

Nothing breaks my heart more than when I hear the two young girls who I babysit and who were adopted from Haiti bash their dark skin and "coarse" hair. The only thing they wish to achieve is to look like a barbie; they wish to have hair like mine and eyes like my sisters'. Whenever I go to their house I see white dollies lined up against every wall. Posters of Barbies and "prettier" girls are plastered on their walls and they wish they were paler, taller, and thinner; they want to be like their friends who have both parents and blonde hair and cell phones.

As a child I was obsessed with my appearance. My self confidence plummeted as my mom forced me into hideous clothing and family members constantly compared me to my taller, thinner, and blue-eyed younger sister. I have always been a media girl. Clinging to the magazines and social media introduced me on how to reach for perfection. I gobbled up YouTube videos on how to lose weight and recipe books on veganism. The tall skinny beauty ideal has always influenced the 5 foot me, to a point of absolute dissatisfaction with myself and my body. I was lead to self harm, eating difficulties, exercising in the Summer for 6 hours daily, and an ever wracked up bill at Sephora.

We literally consume the beauty ideals and self hatred we are promoted since birth to feel. We are fading from the inside out because of how we are affected, withering like the delicate flowers us girls are made out to be. When Morrison in The Bluest Eye talks about Pauline and her sickening yet horrifyingly normal self hatred and focus on societal ideals it reminds me of the trouble every woman faces "I 'member one time I went to see .... Jean Harlow. I fixed my hair up like hers I'd seen in a magazine. A part on the side, with one little curl on my forehead. It looked just like her. Well, almost just like." We long for what we cannot have, and to be perfect. Media is what causes us to see this desirable idea and become consumed. We are just reminded how we don't look perfect, how we aren't perfect, and how we cannot ever be perfect. No matter how hard we work, this perfection is unattainable.

 

This experimental 2D mixed media piece is one I made last year while at art school to illuminate a call to action to Challenge Beauty Standards. Created with beauty products: foundation, lipstick, diet pills, eyeliner, razors, etc; I used these materials to create lettering and illuminate how beauty is based on a standard for perfection.

It is important to recognize where these beauty ideals come from (advertisements and commercialism) and strive to focus on acceptance and challenging the beauty standards that hurts so many.