The Prominence of Wealth

I wanted to expand on our Socratic Circle discussion on The Diamond as Big as the Ritz and wealth.

Standards of wealth are still very similar from the 1920's to 2016. People still enjoy expensive fashion, pricey entertainment, and overall just spending too much. The value of

The introduction of wealth and it's value in The Diamond as Big as the Ritz started with the name of the city John lives in, Hades. Associating Hell with poorness established the importance of being wealthy. Comparing Hades with Heaven or the diamond mountain, also shows the prominence of wealth.

Fitzgerald says in his novella, "St. Midas' School is half an hour from Boston in a Rolls-Pierce motorcar. The actual distance will never be known, for no one, except John T. Unger, had ever arrived there save in a Rolls-Pierce and probably no one ever will again. St. Midas's is the most expensive and most exclusive boys' preparatory school in the world."

In The Diamond as Big as the Ritz, wealth was present through all location names. The name of St. Midas suggests how toxic wealth is, and how it is a rare gift, one which is gifted to few. Where you attend school is an indicator of wealth as is the cars you drive.

In the 1920's there was a huge wealth surge, but this wealth was disproportionately distributed. "The nations's total realized income rose from $74.3 billion in 1923 to $89 billion in 1929 (reference.com)." The wealthy were extremely wealthy, and the poor were excessively so, the middle class had dissolved to almost nothingness.

Fitzgerald wrote In The Diamond as Big as the Ritz, "He must be very rich," said John simply. "I'm glad. I like very rich people. The richer a fella is, the better I like him." Appearance was valued over all, and the monetary value a person had determined their worth as a person. Even in Troy High, every sport, club and event you want to do is a pricey one. It's hard to afford much of what is to offered, even if your family is still considered middle class. Social circles are largely surrounded around materialism and wealth, what someone has to offer you. We see this theme again when John goes to visit rich families in the summer instead of going home to Hades. Personally, I am unable to attend the school I've wanted to go to since I was a child due to price. I can't afford the tuition, or the location, and based on my projections, I wouldn't even be able to sleep because I'd be working too much to have as minimal debt as possible. Wealth determines ability.

More recently, wealth distribution still wasn't equal, but ideas about it were changing. President Obama said "I actually believe in redistribution [of wealth] (Context)." This quote sparked quite a dilemma, one that lead a president with more conservative views to be elected next. Wealth will always be unbalanced, but perhaps not again to an extent of the near eradication of the middle class.

The Unwraveling of Gatsby’s Demeanor

(I way really looking forward to writing this weeks blog because I can put Gatsby memes in it. Yassss.)

If I had to write an essay on any passage in The Great Gatsby, it would have to be this one. Fitzgerald's portrayal of Gatsby shines through with “He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced–or seemed to face–the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.”

I feel that Gatsby is most accurately portrayed not with the undoing of his love for Daisy, but by his warm and complex personality which is emphasized in this passage. It is easy to summarize Gatsby as the jilted lover of Daisy who hung onto her every gold dripping word. It is harder to appreciate his complicated, deeply poetic and ingenious person. A man who throws glorious parties can just  be seen as a rich and boring socialite, not as the man who actually reads his books. Gatsby's emotional depth is portrayed by by Nicks observation and that is he is deeply "understanding" in the ways of people. We can see his personal complexity through how he doesn't drink while everyone at his parties drink lavishly. 

Even though Gatsby understands others, only few understand him. Nick is one of these few, including Gatsby's best friend and mentor who ended up not attending the funeral. Gatsby is summarized by his lavishness and strange personality, that he is misunderstood, which is why his funeral was largely unattended. No one actually cares about knowing Gatsby, and I believe this is a reflection of the Modernism period when commercialism, objectification and lavishness was prominent. It was encouraged to use instead of to appreciate, and this was the difference between Gatsby and the majority of society (excluding Nick). Gatsby, at first in the novel is unpredictable, but as the story progresses we realize that Gatsby is driven by the complexity and desire for love. 

Nick portrays Gatsby as having an intense charisma, which would make sense based on his bootlegging. We don't see his charisma in the introduction of the book, because his intense oddness is seen as his loneliness and longing is expressed through him outstretching and disappearing in the direction of Daisy and Tom's house. Nick is the one who helps us realize Gatsby's true nature and personality, as he cares about Gatsby and feels a connection to him.

The Modernism Movement and Commercialism

Freedom and progression of the mind was finally perpetuated with the Modernism Movement. Before the Modernism Movement, art was based on realism and was almost always fine. Writing didn't have the emotion it had had previously. This movement was a substantial one, one that brought on the greatest bookmark and work of art at that age: The Great Gatsby. Along with F. Scott Fitzgerald's work came Ernest Hemingway's and William Faulkner's, ushering in a deeper look into what actually occurred during that movement and age. The Jazz Age also was a part of the Modernism Movement, something that worked to break a cultural divide and share the meaningfulness of the black culture. This was a time to break free of previous restrains and to be more independent, which was especially for females and people of color. 

The introduction of the flapper ideal for women brought upon a sense of independence and boldness for the young and newly sexual woman. Women were encouraged to embrace their new elegant and commodity hungry selves through the ever prominent and increasing commercialism of the age. Just by looking at the ads of the 1920's, the gap between the beginning of the Modernism Movement and the end of it is a significant one. Commercialism started targeting to the woman, and encouraging her improvement, as her independent actions depended on her perceived perfection. Sadly, the Modernism Movement sparked the beginning of the self hatred inducing commercialism that we see today. Ads continue to bombard us with lewd photographs and repulsive imagery and connotations, all pointing back to our worthlessness. 

The potpourri of Art Deco and Surrealism brought on the freedom and independence of art, but eventually it all came too fast and too strong as women sought to find their independence through perfection. While the Modernism Movement is acclaimed for its freeing of thought, it really just entrapped the mind into a worse idea of commercialism through objectification.

The R Word

I felt as if no one else but me "got it" and comprehended the horrifying significance of that passage we read about Pecola and her father. Overall, it was seemed to have been taken lightly by many of my peers. This was easily dismissible with a slight look of disgust and a shake of the head. This was something to read fifteen minutes before class with SparkNotes and to overlook. Not many appeared to sit down and take the time to read this, to think about it. Had anyone bawled their eyes out like I had? Had anyone actually thought of this beyond the words on the page? I expected for my peers to say how they'd cried the night before like I had, and that they related to it like I did, but, that didn't happen. I don't know if that didn't happen because not many related to the topic, or because everyone was too scared to talk about what they read.

I think that this passage made many uncomfortable, as it is about something misunderstood and rarely discussed. I know, even as I blog, I feel odd if I say the word rape. Talking to a friend earlier that day, I was saying how I was very uncomfortable with our discussing rape in class and he said that it needed to be discussed because we need to bring awareness to and to personalize this issue. I knew this, but emotion had drown out all reason.

Toni Morrison's discussion of childhood rape was surprisingly controversial. During a class discussion, a peer and I were talking about how Morrison personalizes the rapists in her book, such as Cholly and Soaphead. By going into the background and story of these characters, I felt that Morrison was making light of rape and was giving a face to people who didn't deserve it because of their grave offenses. My peer pointed out that rapists are people too, and that a back story brings to light how often assault occurs. Disagreement caused our conversation to become quite heated, it later caused me to reevaluate my stance on seeing a rapist as a person; but my original hatred for rapists will never be overlooked.

Morrison concludes her book with "We had dropped out seeds in our own little plot of black dirt just as Pecola's father had dropped his seeds in his own plot of black dirt. Our innocence and faith were no more productive than his lust or despair." Morrison does a good job in her book of discussing rape without normalizing it. Rape culture is our societies normalization of rape, as we do not talk about it, we don't think about it, but it happens right under our noses. So many children are raped and harmed, and yet its taboo to even think about it. I know that personally, I can never talk about my experiences because of this taboo and everyone else's misconceptions of what I have suffered. This book was created to give a voice to that R word we are afraid to talk about and won't give the time of day for.

These past two weeks have turned my mental state into absolute trash; any of my friends will tell you how much of a mess this books has made me. This issue is a triggering one, and when I hear other kids making rape jokes and even just lightly talking about it, I have so much trouble handling myself. I never actually expected to write this, or post this, or even think about this. I didn't really want everyone knowing what I thought about. But, I felt that I needed to highlight something that stood out to be, that was bothering me. It is hard to talk about such a triggering topic when it needs to be talked about. This balance is a difficult one. I hope that this book made everyone more sympathetic to these horrors, and that they never had to go through what I went through or what Pecola's character went through. Pecola is a spokesperson for childhood assault and for rape, and the idea that this voice is trying to be extinguished by banning is almost as horrific as the deed of rape itself. Embrace the horrors life and use it to bring awareness and to bring comfort to those who Pecola is representing.

I WISH I WAS... tallerthinnerpalercuter

Nothing breaks my heart more than when I hear the two young girls who I babysit and who were adopted from Haiti bash their dark skin and "coarse" hair. The only thing they wish to achieve is to look like a barbie; they wish to have hair like mine and eyes like my sisters'. Whenever I go to their house I see white dollies lined up against every wall. Posters of Barbies and "prettier" girls are plastered on their walls and they wish they were paler, taller, and thinner; they want to be like their friends who have both parents and blonde hair and cell phones.

As a child I was obsessed with my appearance. My self confidence plummeted as my mom forced me into hideous clothing and family members constantly compared me to my taller, thinner, and blue-eyed younger sister. I have always been a media girl. Clinging to the magazines and social media introduced me on how to reach for perfection. I gobbled up YouTube videos on how to lose weight and recipe books on veganism. The tall skinny beauty ideal has always influenced the 5 foot me, to a point of absolute dissatisfaction with myself and my body. I was lead to self harm, eating difficulties, exercising in the Summer for 6 hours daily, and an ever wracked up bill at Sephora.

We literally consume the beauty ideals and self hatred we are promoted since birth to feel. We are fading from the inside out because of how we are affected, withering like the delicate flowers us girls are made out to be. When Morrison in The Bluest Eye talks about Pauline and her sickening yet horrifyingly normal self hatred and focus on societal ideals it reminds me of the trouble every woman faces "I 'member one time I went to see .... Jean Harlow. I fixed my hair up like hers I'd seen in a magazine. A part on the side, with one little curl on my forehead. It looked just like her. Well, almost just like." We long for what we cannot have, and to be perfect. Media is what causes us to see this desirable idea and become consumed. We are just reminded how we don't look perfect, how we aren't perfect, and how we cannot ever be perfect. No matter how hard we work, this perfection is unattainable.

 

This experimental 2D mixed media piece is one I made last year while at art school to illuminate a call to action to Challenge Beauty Standards. Created with beauty products: foundation, lipstick, diet pills, eyeliner, razors, etc; I used these materials to create lettering and illuminate how beauty is based on a standard for perfection.

It is important to recognize where these beauty ideals come from (advertisements and commercialism) and strive to focus on acceptance and challenging the beauty standards that hurts so many.

followyourdreamsfollowyourdreamsfollowyourdreamsfollowfollowfollow

Poverty: The state of being inferior in quality or insufficient in amount.

Your life's destiny is made or broken by one simple thing, a thing that is your birthright; how you walk on this earth and how you are treated, it is all based on the wealth that is so valued by our society.

I admire no man more than I admire the street artist Banksy. This anonymous figure so valiantly creeps through city after city, bringing his work to speak of things so often ignored, and that so often control so many aspects of life. (Banksy Official Site)

The piece above, created in Boston, shows an older low class worker with darker skin. Banksy prepared to stencil by whitewashing the wall, and also chose a location frequented by the upper class. The man, because of his economic status, cannot live his dreams, and therefore is showing that others like him cannot live theirs as well. A common cliche is to "follow your dreams", but this statement is exclusive to those who can afford it. Banksy is saying that our world is very whitewashed and exclusive, that opportunities are not equal, and that we rationalize this with the rare stories of poverty stricken people who eventually make it 'big' in life. We don't follow our dreams because we are unable to follow them.

Having found a book on Shepard Fairey at the bookstore yesterday, it sparked a conversation about street artists and their significance with a friend. Commercialism, opportunity and race was our topic of discussion, reminding me of The Bluest Eye and it's intriguing prologue. Pecola and the people in her town are unable to follow the dreams they dreamt of as young children because of their place in life, their poverty, and being insufficient across the board. 

"If we planted the seeds, and said the right words over them, they would blossom, and everything would be all right."

"A little examination and much less melancoly would have proved to us that our seeds were not the only ones that did not sprout; nobody's did."

But not everything can be all right when you cannot take control over the birthright of poverty, of opportunity... or lack of it. The seeds in The Bluest Eye are a metaphor for life and the potential of it. These quotes show how these people's lives are cut short by poverty, and how they forgoe their dreams not because of incapibility, but because of uncontrollable circumstances in life.

Our world is whitewashed by those who refuse to understand and accept that not all are equal. We need to look outside of our priviliged lives and be thankful for the opportunities that we have, and try to bring the same opportunities to those who cannot experience the same as us because of poverty.

Banksy

This movie is the best one I have ever seen, featuring and directed by Banksy, it's on Netflix and I HIGHLY recommend for everyone to check out this beautiful work of art: Exit Through The Giftshop

Puzzle Paragraph: Our Barbies, Ourselves

Something that really stood out to me in Our Barbies, Ourselves is how gender is not only separated so significantly, but how there is a double standard in the role that women play in life versus men.

Once upon a time, before a babies gender is determined, parents await the news with gleeful anticipation; often fathers wanting sons and mothers wanting daughters. We go to baby showers and see little trinkets set out specifically for the babies gender: blue giraffes for a boy, pink elephants for a girl.

Gender is so categorized into boxes, and is so separated since before birth. These boxes are set with rigid standards, something everyone is expected to adhere to.

Girls are supposed to be nurturers, and beautiful, to be trained since childhood for the use of men.

Men are supposed to be buff, rigid, handsome with strong rhetoric, and using women as a commodity.

These ideals are passed from generation to generation, starting from beliefs that were written in the Bible and the Quran. Jesus, in the Bible, says for a woman to let her husband speak, that she is lesser than him. It isn't simply about ideals, it is about inconsistency. Today, we can take a stance against strict adherence of the rules and embrace the differences in every person that cannot be summarized by the standards set by others.

Stereotypes and Catergorization

It was always a dilemma for me, checking that race box on my paperwork when I first came to school. I had never had to simplify myself to such a measure, but now I debated on when it says "one box only" to say Native American or to say if I was White. It is offensive to simplify and shrink a person into such a tiny margin, excluding mixed people, and thinking just because the racial lines are blurry as a whole, that it isn't stark and hard for some individuals.

I had never thought of race as a social construct, it just didn't occur that something so seemingly set in life wouldn't be biological.

When I Googled 'is race a socially constructed concept', I thought I knew what the results would say, or at the very least that they would be highly controversial.

But, instead what came up was a very matter-of-fact answer from the New York Times, and thousands of results that did indeed back up that race is a socially constructed concept. (Even my relatively racist, conservative, and Trump supporting dad agrees with this consensus). I was shocked, and it made me wonder... why do we make such a huge deal out of race?

Race matters because we as humans strive for self categorization, it makes us feel a sense of self purpose, that we 'fit'. We look at someone and think oh, they're categorized this way, and if someone doesn't look what they appear to be, we become shocked, offended even. We expect out assumptions to be correct, that stereotypes are accurate.

We look at a short-haired plaid wearing girl and assume she's gay. We look at a girl with a deep voice and assume she's trans. We look at a man from the South and assume he's a Jesus-loving Trump supporter.

While reading Maus and discussing the topic of race and assumption, we talked about this scene from the comic below, and how appearance and stereotyping supersedes truth.

Assumptions ultimately are judgments, and they are unfair. So, how can we overcome how we perceive and categorize people?

I think it begins with understanding differing perspectives, sometimes it is difficult to think from a perspective outside our own, to put down those who meet a negative stereotype. It's difficult to realize that while the blurred lines seem simple, there are always people who hover in the middle of a standard, of a category, and are ostracized and hurt because of it.

There are too many cases of people who don't physically match up with one race to be an outcast among where they identify or live. People who don't look like a stereotype are questioned, not legitimate.

Even I, hear things such as:

"You're very white, you cannot be Native American" "An American Indian can't be white" "But, CAN YOU PROVE IT" "You can't be gay because you're pretty" "Your being gay must be a phase because you're too flirty"

*rolls eyes

Even though these assumptions are rather harmless, we need to think about how our assumptions can hurt and box in people, how everyone is DIFFERENT, and how everyone has something unique to offer.

We cannot be defined or confined by what the options to check on a form are.

So...

Look outside of yourself and see what other people's perspectives have to offer.

Art Should Haunt Us

Jim Powell's argument that "thus, any art attempting to represent the Holocaust should continue to haunt us with its inability to represent the unrepresentable, to say the unsayable. It should continue to haunt us with the feeling that there is something Other than representation." in Postmodernism for Beginners contradicts my view that art is the closest way for one to feel emotion for something that they did not witness.

Art isn't just about representation, it is about emotion, how it is a voice not only for an issue, but for every voice drowned out. Words cannot express a horror fully, art is there to reach across all platforms and evoke something in everyone. Art is a snippet into a whole issue, idea, horror, it is a picture into reality.

While reading Maus: A Survivors Tale, this piece brought about the heartbreaking realization regarding the position of the Jews during the Holocaust. While learning about Jewish history in the past, I always felt a bit of resentment, spitefulness, because of their being "chosen people" in my childhood religion. Full contemplation of the Holocaust and its horrors never was a priority, I knew it was terrible, and I knew it was horrible. But, the emotion never reached beyond that, or beyond my taping over the graphic pictures in my history books so I wouldn't have to see it, or closing my eyes during the documentaries when I saw the ovens. Art, eventually, is what bridged the gap so I was better able to understand.

Art is a fill in the blank type of thing, you use it to further your understanding.

Now, there was a part of this book that stood out to me, and I felt showed exactly why art is important, why art should haunt us, but not because it cannot speak for itself. When Art Spiegelman introduces another comic, Prisoner on the Hell Planet: A Case History I was confronted by a more applicable horror, one that I related to, one that through pictures spoke to me. Suicide. When I saw that grinning skeleton, and the tears of Spiegelman, I myself was brought to tears. This horror is a real one to me, and the art representing it haunts me. This art helps me think from different perspectives, helps me make realizations and helps me understand.

For someone who doesn't comprehend something, it is arts job to haunt them, and it is arts job to be that representation.

(I just realized that it can be taken as a pun, since the cartoonists name is Art)

But.... with the linoleum stamp styled work, with the vivid detailing surrounding the precise moment of horror (Arts moms suicide), it make me really think about his perspective. I appreciated what he had gone through, I felt as if I connected, understood. He represented himself in something personal to him, something so that I can catch a glimpse on the issues surrounding him.

While one may summarize his horrors with a grinning skull from my nightmares, but its about the tears, the human aspect. How can something as terrible as suicide be summarized in words?

This art is a way to address the horrific severity of the Holocaust, of the aftermath, of the future. Death is so overwhelming, the Holocaust is even more so. The words I am typing cannot and will not ever be as overwhelming as the Holocaust, but the comics can help us understand, become overwhelmed, become haunted.

Art should haunt us because it makes us realize something.

When you cannot fully comprehend an issue, an idea, look to art to garner insight and tie others emotions to your own.

Here is some art I found regarding the Holocaust which greatly inspires me: (artists unknown, except for last, which is Art Spiegelman)

"There is actually no such thing as atheism"

As I was discussing the topic of atheism and This Is Water by David Foster Wallace with a friend, he compared it to "beating a dead horse", a topic well worn, and that everything that can be said has been said about atheism. But, I think there is confusion needs clarification to help us better understand the difference between belief and worship.

"There is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship" -David Foster Wallace in This Is Water

While reading This Is Water by David Foster Wallace, the remark on atheism caught my attention, and made me refer back to the definition of atheism:

"[atheism is the] disbelief or lack of belief in the existence of God of gods." -The Merriam Webster Dictionary

Atheism isn't about worship, it is about god, and belief in such a deity... or unbelief. As an atheist, I don't believe in god, therefore I don't worship anything in regards to my religion. The issue of atheism and worshipping is completely separate. If you believe in god, you can worship that said god, but that is because you believe in it/them.

Being an atheist means I am constantly misrepresented, misunderstood, even Wallace's statement shows this. Atheists are often painted as unmoral and lacking direction. What Wallace says is a reflection of a bigger issue, a question I face:

If I don't worship god, then who do I worship?

Yes, I think everyone does worship something, but everyone's something is different. Sometimes the something is somethings. I do think worship is a very specific and over dramatized way of saying that we are dedicated to things. I am dedicated to my success, I am dedicated to the success of my family, I am dedicated to find completion and happiness in my life. Do I worship this? I suppose.

Point is, I can be an atheist, still worship things, and still keep that separate from religion.

Being an atheist doesn't mean the absence of worship! I simply don't worship a god.

What Wallace said stood out to me, I respected what he said very much, and then he brought up religion in his work. It was then I felt Wallace didn't understand what he was saying about the belief I most identify with.

Call to action: Understand what you're saying and how much weight is carried in the words you speak. All I had to do was look up a dictionary definition and refute a statement I found offensive. If you are going to make a claim, think about how others will perceive it. Statements like what Wallace said was something I find discouraging and negative, and I think that everyone should be equally minded and know that what they say matters.

My Revaluation of Morale

Henry David Thoreau's opinions have been following me for years, and just now I confront the call to action I've always avoided thinking about.

"It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law, so much as for the right. The only obligation which I have a right to assume is to do at any time what I think right. It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience." -On The Duty of Civil Disobedience

It is your responsibility to take action and oppose what goes against your conscience.

At age 12, I first read On The Duty of Civil Disobedience and was perplexed by Thoreau's ideals. I admittedly didn't fully comprehend what was unfolding in the text, but I did understand his call to action. Honestly, at that point in life, I was beginning to reevaluate my religion and if I should continue with what I grew up with. I didn't know what my conscience told me, and I didn't even know where to begin to look for this insight. Fear consumed me, preventing me from really contemplating what consisted of my conscience.

While 14, I read On The Duty of Civil Disobedience yet again for an English class Freshman year, this time with more wisdom and clarity on what my perspective actually is. I now identified as an Atheist kinda Agnostic hybrid, but I was still just as confused as before. Having a basic idea of what I thought was right didn't cut it though, because I didn't understand how to back up my opinions and turn admiration of an ideal into reality.

Now as I write a new chapter in my life, I often think of how my moral code influences me, and the situations I am in. I grew up being taught that authority always knows what is best, but now I know that this simply isn't true. Relying on what I think is right was never encouraged in my conservative Christian household, because what I thought was right was always determined by outside thinking.

Before applying Thoreau's call to action, before you can stand up to authority when it is absolutely necessary, deciding what is right not only based on your personal convictions but also seeing how those convictions apply to the world around you is of utmost importance. Periodic self evaluation and examination is key.

The Hippie Modernism Movement: Past, Present and Future

When Sherman Alexie talks about hippies and Native Americans in the piece we read, I was reminded of the Hippie Modernism gallery show at the Cranbrook Art Museum, which I saw while going to art school this year. This show focuses on "the evolution of the period (of the 1960s to 1970s), from pharmacological, technological, and spiritual means to expand consciousness and alter one's perception of reality (credit)." to address the issues of race, queer issues, peace, media, freedom, the struggle for utopia, and gender and feminism.

This was a period when we as people began to question what restricted us from doing what we wanted. We questioned the government, our mental capacities, and society. We began to try to make a statement, and break free from what oppressed us.

"During the sixties, my father was the perfect hippie, since all the hippies were trying to be Indians. Because of that, how could anyone recognize that my father was making a social statement?" -Sherman Alexie

The Native American's embodied free spirit, because they were misunderstood. In their difference from "normal" American life they seemed to be the most free. They appeared to be overcoming what oppressed them, and their history represented nobility and hostility.

Sherman Alexie's father was a free spirit, one who wanted to break free from the oppression that came with living on a Reservation. Breaking free from racial restrictions and focusing on collaboration in life was what was part of the hippie movement.

Minorities are those who contributed most to the hippie movement. Toying with the idea of freedom, they wondered if they had broken free of restrictions such as a Native American's reservation, if they would have been able to see life from a different perspective, and what impact would they have on the would have had. This was when they challenged all the oppressors put on them, and they decided to try to force the changes they were looking for.

Creating art now can help us analyze the past and our reactions. In the 1960s and 1970s, strong ideas were presented, and now we can take the boldness of before to confront ideas for now. These issues of self exploration, of gender, of media, of freedom are something we still must confront. The 60s and 70s opened up a discussion for these topics, and now we continue them.

Interactive Rock-n-Roll exhibit

Out of all art movements, the one of Hippie Modernism stood out to me the most. I am a minority in two respects, one being in the LGBT community, and the other being a Native American. If I do suffer, it usually is from one, because I am a woman, and the other because I am in the LGBT community. Seeing how art from the past contrasted with art from the present inspired me to confront the restriction placed on me and spark freedom for further generations. When I see people of the past like me who fought for me and my future on the homefront, I now want to create art to influence thought just as they did. Just as Jimmy Hendrix created his rendition of the Star Spangled Banner to influence thought and a voice for himself, I now make my art with the thought of what ideas can I share so that I can also make a difference.

Art piece by myself on LGBT issues

. . .

For an interactive discussion on Cranbrooks Hippie Modernism show, there is an event coming up with artists and experts on these topics here to converse on the issues and ideas presented, here's a link: Free Radicals: A Symposium

This link goes into depth of the history and art of hippie modernism and the struggle for utopia, this panel discussion really helped me understand more into depth the issue and analyze the ideas from the topic as a whole: Hippie Modernism Opening-Day Talk

My Life Compared to Truth, Fear, and Fiction

How I seem to think, how I act, and what I do is something I carefully control. Portrayal is something I carefully consider and contemplate. When I was asked to write a blog for English, I was hesitant, almost fearful. Writing is something that helps me stay true to myself. I write everyday so that I still can be connected to the truth. Knowing that my peers would be reading what I had to say made me reconsider always being truthful. I don't always want people to know what I think. Having always been ostracized for being different, sharing what makes me different is something I stay away from. I craft how people see me, I craft how people perceive my personality, and I craft people into thinking I am different than how I am. Complete honesty is something I've never been comfortable with.

While discussing the relationship between truth and fiction in class, I realized that is how I control peoples perception of me. I take a truth and change it just enough that it now morphs into fiction. For example, it is fiction when I say I am happy, but it is the truth that certain situations and details in life bring me temporary happiness. I let my statements be absolute when not everything in life is like that. The conversation about truth and fiction made me realize that the fiction I use in my life is based on fear. There are so many ways that truth and fiction correlate, but in my life and in my words, my connection is through my creation of the truth because of fear. 

Just as Tim O'Brien the author of The Things They Carried created fiction that was based on truth, I create fiction as a defense mechanism, also based on truth. The topic of lies is often discussed in The Things They Carried, and a quote that stood out to me especially was:

"A thing may happen and be a total lie; another thing may not happen and be truer than the truth" -Tim O'Brien of The Things They Carried

When it talks of something not happening, I think of the words that I say on paper and don't speak aloud. It happens to me, but it isn't witnessed by others. This something that is true to me, but it isn't to others, so it may be debated if it occurs. When something happens that people see about me, they may assume a truth regarding to my person, but it can be a lie. Lies and truths is about perception and who it is true to. This made me rethink what the truth is regarding to my person, and how I can be less fearful about myself.